I am Catholic, have always been. Your family might be
Italian, Polish,German--mine is Catholic. Very Catholic. I'm not that level of
Catholic any longer, though I do still consider myself Catholic. If you had asked Pope Benedict or my mother, I am not a
very good Catholic. If you ask me and (I like to think and hope) God, I’m doing okay.
So Lent. I get asked every year why I give up things, and
why I am punishing myself, etc. But that isn't the point of Lent, at least not
in my world. Lent is about feeling--keenly, your humanity, your physicality,
your vulnerability. Yes, I do "give up" something each year, but I
don't do this to suffer for my faith, quite the contrary.
Will there be a sense of denial, undoubtedly. But...that
isn't always a bad thing. Denial doesn't have to be a hairshirt, self-flaggelation
exercise in martyrdom. By denying myself these things I desire and crave, I'm
reminding myself quite vividly that they are things. They are not what
is important. They are objects of desire, which frankly kind of hold me back
sometimes.
I think that we are given these amazing bodies, and this
amazing place we call the universe in trust. We are to do the best we can, take
the best care we can of them, then when our time comes, we give them back.
Taking care of myself--although it will mean denying myself some things I love
very much is a small way of saying thank you. Thank you for giving me this
body, and the tools and abilities to keep it healthy and safe. Thank you for
giving me this amazing world to live in, and all these creatures, and the
responsibility of stewardship.
It is also about getting to a closer relationship with What
Is--call it God or Jehovah, or Allah, or just plain Love, or Frank if you
like--subjugating my desires to focus on the plan for me, the path I'm to take
can show me things I never would have known, wrapped up cozily in my blanket of
luxuries.
I don't believe in a God who would give us such lovely wonderful
bodies, capable of pleasure, giving, love and caring and then tell us we are
forbidden from doing so. I do believe in a God that loves us all simply because
we are. And that is something I learn a little bit every day--it is enough just
to be me, and try to be the best me I can.
I also must love others, ALL others simply because they are too. It is enough for them to just be, too.
I don't believe in a God that guides our every movement, and
smites us when we step out of their complicated and not-so-clear lines. I so
believe in a God that ever-so-gently coughs behind their hand *ahem* at
appropriate moments to give us a nudge. That gentle whisper in our ear that
guides us toward the right thing, that lets us know we are here and loved and
doing okay.
And that my friends, is my prayer for you and yours this
Lent, that you can always know that wee tiny whisper--you are here, you are
loved, and you are doing okay.
